Monday, November 9, 2009

Solitary Confinement

I was cut off today.  No water.  No treadmill talk with my friend Judy.  Everything I have known to be true thus far, has been stripped from me.  Can you hear the sound of the whip cracking?  Listen with me for a second...okay I only said a second.  

I was cut off today.  A wise crack gone wrong.  A thought that I verbalized (I shall not repeat this mistake twice).  A realization.  

Technically, by default....this face, this person. ME! I am the "under construction" project that Michael's Fitness has accidentally acquired as his poster child.  

An epiphany of thought that I must be thin.  I have to be a success!  The name of Michael's Fitness is now tied to the appearance of his number one project: me?  

The pressure is great.  I am wiping my brow as I type this.  Sweat is pouring from my face as we speak (okay actually I am lounging in my favorite recliner watching Million Dollar Listing), but still!  So, as I verbalized my epiphany to Michael today, he answered me with his typical LOL.  

LOL?  Can we be serious for a second. Everything your business claims to be true rides on your ability to make me a fit and fiery mom of triplets!  I tried to read his response and had no luck in determining his perspective.  Until....

I was cut off.  I even think I might have seen him set the clock back 20 minutes at one point.  He shut down my usual banter and told me to do MORE CARDIO!  MORE MORE MORE! He demanded more reps with ruthless persistence.  "NO TALKING!" he scolded as I innocently took a water break near my friend Judy on the treadmill (while showing/attempting to show her some pictures of my adorable (yes I'm partial) children).  

I was cut off.  To solitary confinement I went just as Mrs. Jumbo did on Dumbo as she spanked the onlookers who teased her poor Dumbo's very enormous ears.  Solitary confinement is my new home at Michael's Fitness.  Because although his looks can be deceiving, Michael must have heeded my warning.  I am his poster child.  And there's no turning back.  He's stuck with this Mrs. Jumbo and his success partially depends on his ability to mold me into perfection.  

'Lonely and Disciplined Brutally,
Jessica Kirkland

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